celebrating a life
Funerals * Memorials * Gravesides
An effective eulogy does not happen in just a blink of an eye. There are a lot of preparations to be done in order that the eulogy delivery will be effective. From writing the eulogy to the day of delivery, there are several things that should be taken into consideration so that everything will fall into place.
A eulogy is a well-crafted speech, which a person is designated to
prepare and deliver during a funeral ceremony. It is usually read to
commemorate a dearly departed - to celebrate the life spent here on
earth and the memories that go with him. It is not necessary that a
eulogy be a detailed summary of how the deceased person spent his
life, but rather it can concentrate on particular positive
situations or circumstances. Generally, people who are requested to
deliver eulogies are those people who are considered to know best
the deceased person. Therefore, personal experiences are expected to
be re-told and reminisced, and to be shared with other people who
will be listening. The person delivering the eulogy must show the
reasons why the deceased is well-loved and will be missed by the
people around him.
To be given the task of delivering a
eulogy is really an honor hence the responsibility of providing a
clear and positive picture of the person you will be talking about
is in order. Eulogies may be written in various ways. Some people
come up with serious speeches honoring the deceased person while
others recommended eulogy is a combination of both since death
should not be a reason to be sad but a celebration of a life
well-lived. Appropriate humorous anecdotes may be interjected to
lighten up the feeling of the audience.
One should devote
some time in coming up with a well-written eulogy. Adequate
preparation must be made to gather biographical facts about the
person you will be talking about. In this case, you should confer
with the deceased person's other family members so that you can
verify as to the exact age, important dates and places, and other
personal data that you need to include in the eulogy.
It is
wise to develop a theme to give focus on your speech. You may choose
to concentrate on a particular aspect of life of the deceased. An
example would be, if you and the deceased were co-workers, then talk
about how great he performed his job, his dedication to doing his
work and his ambition to do well in his chosen career. If you were
best friends since high school or college, then talk about the good
times you had and how he helped you during those years. Do not try
to embellish your story with half-truths or lies. Speak from the
heart so that your sincerity will be reflected in your eulogy. Your
love for the deceased person must be felt by the people who are
listening to your speech.
Organize the materials that you
have gathered, pick the data that you will need then prepare an
outline. By doing this, you will have an idea of how your eulogy
should flow. Draft your eulogy then try to edit and polish your
work. Practice delivering your eulogy in front of a mirror or a
friend in order that you can see if improvements or additional
editing have to be made.
Here are 10 tips for preparing an effective eulogy:
1. Write down all the memories you have of your
loved one. These will form the basis of your eulogy.
2. Ask
family and friends to share their stories about your loved one. This
is a wonderful way to include others as you paint a picture of the
person you are honouring.
3. Your eulogy should pay respect
to the person who has died. Always remain positive—both about your
loved one and about those who are attending the funeral. Focus on
their better qualities and remember that this is not the time to
relive bad memories.
4. Think of the eulogy as a way to tell
a story about the deceased. A simple way to do this is to use the
words, "I remember…" Everyone loves to hear a good story and these
words will cue your audience to your memories about your loved one.
5. Mention people who were special to your loved one. Your
audience will appreciate hearing of the strong relationship that the
deceased had with children, a spouse, or with close friends—and it
will mean the world to those who are mentioned.
6. Be
honest. Share your feelings and experiences about your loved one.
Never try to exaggerate or embellish qualities in order to make the
deceased seem like "a better person." Stay true to the facts and
your feelings for your loved one.
7. It may help to build
your eulogy around a theme; a word that best describes the
individual, or a hobby or pastime they enjoyed. Examples of themes
include, "My father's hands," or "Seasons of life."
8. Don't
be embarrassed if you are overcome with emotion during the eulogy.
This will be one of the most difficult speeches you will have to
deliver during your life. Take a moment to regain your composure,
and then continue. Remember that you are dealing with a sympathetic
audience. Everyone gathered for the funeral will understand that you
may be emotional. No one will judge you.
9. Keep your eulogy
brief. Try for a length of between three and five minutes. This will
allow you plenty of time to paint a vibrant picture of your loved
one.
10. Be inspired by examples of famous eulogies.